Treat life like a sea

"A smooth sea never made a skillful sailor"

Life can be hard. Waves of trial can be overwhelming. However, soon after the storm, you will realize that what happened has a purpose and everything that you've been through made you stronger. Yes, sometimes it's easier to just give up. When that thought flashed your mind, look behind you and see what you already overcome and how far you have gone. And most importantly, look beside you and see who and what you are fighting for. Hold on to them and you will be able to go through. 

This is a constant reminder to myself and I am still here fighting... 

The grieving heart: loss of a love one

“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.”

Death is something inevitable. It will all come to us sooner or later. That is something we all understand. But still, it hits hard when someone very dear to us pass away. It’s probably the most heart wrenching event of our lives. We feel a lot of emotions that is too much to bear. When this moment happen to you. Know that you are not alone.

5 stages of grief by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, author of “On Death and Dying”

Photo credit to the owner

"Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it." – Albus Dumbledore

                Not all people have the same way of grieving. Whether you cry your heart out or don’t talk to anybody for a while, you are entitled to it. What’s important is to address your feelings. You may also feel regrets, guilt, anger and confusion along with that devastating pain, express it. You may talk to other love ones about how you feel (but do it when you’re ready) or you can find a creative way to express your feelings. Some may tell you that you have to be strong in facing your loss, but a strong facade will only delay the inevitable. You will still feel it and though grief doesn’t have a deadline, it will only prolong your healing process.

                Also, allow you family and friends to be there for you. It will help to have a support group whom you can talk to about your feelings (when you already feel like it) and sometimes, their mere presence can be a comfort already. It’s good to know that there are people who will support you, but then, you have to let them in.

“It is only when no one remembers that you are truly lost. That is the true death.” -Michael Scott

                Cherish all those memories you created together. At first, reminiscing can be very painful. But eventually, this will help you find solace for your loss. They are never truly gone so long as you keep those memories with you.

“Do not pity the dead. Pity the living. And above all, those who live without love.” –Albus Dumbledore

                Personally, the only way I achieved the final stage of grief easier than some will call necessary is because I always believed that one day, all of us will reach the end of the line. Either me first, or the ones I love. And somewhere, wherever they are, they are happier than I am for they are already in a place where there can be no pain, only love, peace and happiness. Don’t get it wrong. I still feel the pain from time to time and I don’t think it will really go away. But it’s no longer overwhelming. When I remember them, it’s now mixed up with good memories.

                And lastly, as you cherish the memories of your loss loved one, do not forget (and be afraid) to create more with your other love ones. Do not shut yourself away. Our loss should be a reminder of how short life can be. Celebrate life. Enjoy life. Gain Peace.

The Power of Self Acceptance

It’s a big world out there. There are a lot of reasons to be happy, so many adventures to enjoy, and a lot of new things to discover. And I think the most important thing that is holding us back is the fact that we have not yet fully accepted ourselves. Yes, even though we have finally accepted ourselves, from time to time, we still feel unhappy; we will still feel fear and loneliness. But in learning to accept ourselves, we will be able to brush it off easily.

“Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with it can there be recovery.” –J.K. Rowling

            Understand that you are a human. Recognize that you have certain strengths and weaknesses. You have your own quirks. You make mistakes. You have your good side and bad side. Self acceptance is accepting and loving all of those things that make you who you are. Do not try to deny the things that you do not like about yourself as we may have certain trait in general, but no one will be exactly the same. It’s what makes us unique. It’s what makes each and every one of us so special.

However, accepting oneself is definitely not an excuse for not improving. In fact, it should help you achieve more knowing who you are, what you want and where you want to be. It’s just that you do not have to criticize yourself for every mistake you’ve made. You have to forgive yourself for your mistakes, learn from it, strategize, allow yourself to think of a way to solve it and move forward. You have your strengths; use it to achieve your goals. You have your weaknesses; you may try to improve it.

“Do not compare yourself to others, you are insulting yourself.” –Taylor Swift

            One of the reasons why it is so hard to accept ourselves is because we compare ourselves to other people. “How come she has that long beautiful hair and I don’t?” How come she has a car and I don’t?” and the list goes on.  If you keep on looking at other people’s lives, you will spend the rest of your life being miserable. First and foremost, not everything that you see in your friend’s Facebook account or any other social media shows their entire life story. Definitely, they have their own ups and downs, just like you, but most people only show the “highlighted” part of their story. Second, you do not have to keep on checking your social media every minute especially if you will just end up being a sour grape. Open your social media only if you want some catching up with friends. And last, turn that envy into something positive. Learn to celebrate other people’s success. Use them as an inspiration. Do some researches and make a plan. Know the things you are good at and use it as a leverage to achieve your goal.

            Know that by not accepting yourself, you are depriving yourself with these: Happiness, Personal growth, Peace, and Self Esteem.